Why being seen is scary (as fuck). Why hiding is even scarier.
So there is a LOT of talk in the online world about being visible. There are visibility coaches, trainings, products…Why? Because to be noticed you have to be seen. But there is more to the picture than posting in 3 different Facebook groups every day to raise your profile.
And it’s that “more” I want to talk to you about.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many women I know who don’t do what they need to do to allow their people to find them. These are bright, smart women with a message on their heart to share. But in terms of allowing themselves to be seen? Building a platform? Radio silence.
Being seen is scary.
It asks you to claim all of who you are and put it out there in the world. You need to stand in your leadership and allow yourself AND your message to viewable, findable by the other humans in this world. And that is where it gets scary biscuits. Because that annoying little voice in our head pops up and says “but who I am to do this…”, “what if no one comments/likes/shares?”, “what if I have nothing to say?” “what if I’m wrong?” “Other people will be smarter than me”. Even, “I don’t want to shine too brightly”. Yada, yada, yada. You get the point.
It’s not truly about the act of doing what needs to be done to get yourself out there into the world. It’s the self-judgement that becomes enmeshed in the process. All of our fears creep out and make themselves known and put a big-ass spanner in the works.
Even though your mum and your bestie are amazeballs, they are not who you are here to serve. You have a sea of people who need what you have to share and they can’t find you if you don’t get out from behind your busy work.
They can’t see you hiding behind your branding (I know, I’ve been there), they can’t hear what you have to say if you are hiding behind tinkering with your website (you’d be shocked at how much I now know about Wordpress) or six thousand re-writes of your tagline and crowdsourcing advice on your job title online (don’t even get me started).
Those, my lovely, are distractions. Distractions from what you are here to do. All those things, which can feel super important, don’t make that much difference to your people. They want you. They want to hear from you.
And that takes brass ovaries.
It’s takes guts to stand up and step out. To say “Hey there world, here I am”.
Being an entrepreneur ain’t for the faint hearted.
To put your head above the waterline and make a declaration on what you stand for. Not easy. Too invite, what feels like the whole world to come into your heartspace and have a nose around.
It’s raw. It’s vulnerable. It’s scary as fuck.
It’s also gusty as hell.
So cut yourself some slack when you catch yourself not wanting to step out.
It’s not as simple as it sounds. If it was, everyone would be doing it and there wouldn’t be this stream of support around it. It’d just be something you did. But. It’s full of emotional landmines, covered in tripwires.
Know what’s scarier?
Never getting out there at all.
Your message, the light you have to share with the world, being trapped inside of you. The whisper of your soul becoming desperate for you to listen. Knowing that you never really tried. Wondering would might have happened if…. Being disappointed in yourself. Worse, yet? All the lives that would never be touched by you. The souls waiting on you…waiting forever.
Because even though it feels all about you. It has nothing to do with you.
You’re a conduit of a message meant for others. You’re the delivery system.
You’re like, the UPS gal carrying a package of light. Only, if you don’t allow people into your world, to experience you, you’re more like the UPS gal who won’t get out of the truck. Even when the truck is parked outside of the right house, on the right street, she won’t get out of the truck. What will the people in the house say? What if they don’t like it? What if they don’t like her? What if they’re mean to her?
You can see what’s going to happen. She’s never going to get out of the damn truck. Her brain has taken over and made the whole situation dependent on and a reflection of her.
The folks in the house? Don’t give a crap about who delivers, it’s the package they’re waiting on.
If she rocks up, polished within an inch of her life or a hot mess. They DON’T CARE. Because even though they see her, what they’re really interested in, is what she’s bringing with her. Ditto every other person on her route. These people, on her route, are HER people. If she doesn’t deliver the packages, they don’t get the joy of receiving them. Of tearing into the wrappings and being delighted by what they discover. If she doesn’t get out of the truck she’s not only not doing her delivery job, she’s also robbing people of what’s she’s delivering.
When it’s time to show up in the world, social media, speaking event or telling the lady at the grocery store what you do, take a breath and remind yourself that all you have to do is show up. What people think, how they react and what they take from what you say is none of your business. None of that stuff is your stuff so leave it alone. Let their experience be their experience and get on with the rest of your life.